Jamie Hopkins: ‘Dad, You Love Work More Than Me’ — A REBL Dads Necker Island Reflection

Jamie Hopkins on the moment his son said, 'Dad, you love work more than me' — and what changed after.

Full Reflection

I've come here to Necker Island a couple of times now, and both times I thought about why I was coming. The first time was really about my household, my family, my kids. The summer before I came, my son came up to me and said, 'Dad, you love work more than me.' I had to sit with that — it was hard, I felt like crying in that moment. Of course I responded, 'absolutely not, I love you so much' — but I wasn't demonstrating it. Then I looked at the mentors and people I was following, and realized they weren't focused on being a dad, a father.

So I've come here twice now, and gotten that whole sense of what it means to be a leader as a dad — to take care of your kids and make sure they know you're there for them. Emotionally I felt like I was doing that, but I was missing so many cues. We've actually taken two things from last year and rolled them into our household. One is a 'freeze game' we play in the car — everyone freezes except the driver, obviously, since the driver needs to keep moving — and you share how you're feeling, what you're thinking about, and even what you want to do next. It's been wonderful, and it's changed how I show up as a leader at home.

How I show up as a leader at work has been about delegation — the people here last year were able to delegate out and be focused and present here, and it's been absolutely amazing. What's different about this event compared to almost everything else I've been part of is that it's about one life, not two. We don't live two separate lives — being a dad, an entrepreneur, a leader, it all comes together. And if you try to split them up, you're going to fail.

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Want an experience like Jamie Hopkins's? Apply to attend a REBL Dads Gathering on Necker Island.